Category: Uncategorized

Jan 03

where life is calling me, right now

I’d like to outline my current involvement in various spheres, as it will help readers to understand some of my interests, and provide a framework for some of the topics that will arise in future blog entries.

Commitments in medical school
*Specialization in underserved medicine:
There are too many people who are dying because they don’t have a doctor to care for them, or a doctor who cares.  I care, and I especially care for those who are often forgotten in our society – the poor, the non-citizens, the elderly, to name a few.  So when I learned of the opportunity to be a part of an innovative curriculum that trains students to be compassionate physicians for the medically underserved through inner-city, rural, and international clerkships, I jumped at the chance.  This program really takes off in my clinical years (and I am excited to begin sharing my experiences as I enter rotations in July), but in the meantime, this commitment to the underserved is something that I maintain as my raison d’être in medicine, the inspiration that keeps me going even through the tough parts.
*Volunteer at sliding-scale clinic:
This is one of those commitments where I have probably felt the least confident, not because of a lack of experience with uninsured/underinsured patients and many of the associated issues, but because my mentor has challenged me to test my clinical skills, which are still often tentative and uncertain.  As a pre-clinical student, the intensive curriculum demands a focus on the intellectual knowledge we must cultivate, with less room for honing our hands-on technique on a regular basis.  I am facing a fear through my time at this clinic, shadowing and assisting the physician, but also leaning on my natural abilities in health education to spearhead a complementary diabetes program that is greatly needed to enhance the care of many patients.
*Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Allies:
It should be obvious at this point that I have a special sensitivity and need to reach out to those who are medically vulnerable.  While this normally calls to mind the poor and uninsured members of our society, financial barriers are not the only obstacle to care in our country.  The LGBT community experiences a great deal of prejudice on the part of health care providers, and insufficient training and insensitivity lead to low-quality health care.  As such, many LGBT individuals do not seek regular health care, which can be compounded with many other biopsychosocial issues that arise with the difficulty of being non-heterosexual in a heterosexist world.  I strive to increase awareness about this issue and campaign for more intensive training of our medical students to be able to better serve this population in the future.
*American Medical Women’s Association:
It’s hard to believe that female physicians used to be a minority (although in many highly specialized fields, they still are).  Still, there are many challenges that are faced by women in medicine even today, and there is great value in creating a community of women in our field to support one another and address these challenges.  I joined the executive board of this organization to organize awareness events and service activities and help amplify the voice of my female peers.
*Family Medicine Interest Group:
It is no secret that primary care is a hurting area in medicine, and the reasons for that will undoubtedly be explored in future entries.  I knew I wanted to go into medicine to fill a need, and I knew I would be able to fulfill that goal by being a generalist.  I became a leader in the FMIG to help others understand this need and feel called to this specialty, as well. How wonderful to be able to provide care from the “womb to the tomb”.  More on this later.
*American Medical Association:
I serve as a student liaison to the physicians of the local medical society, promoting communication between physicians and physicians-in-training.  I think that the gap that often exists between these two groups is unfortunate.  Students have a lot they can learn from those who have been in the field for awhile, but they also have wonderful and innovative ideas to share to encourage progress and important change in medicine where needed.
*School ambassador:
I have very positive feelings towards my medical school, and feel called to roles that can share this perspective with prospective students and also to help facilitate a positive experience for current students.  To that end, I am an extremely enthusiastic tour guide, a fearless student representative on the committee for c/o 2012 student affairs, and have very much enjoyed serving as an interviewer for applicants, orientation leader for new students, and tutor for existing students.
*Council of health professions students:
We are all in this together.  Doctors, nurses, techs – we have different educational backgrounds, but we are all in the field of medicine to help others get well and stay well.  And a positive work environment that promotes collaboration (NOT competition) between different health care providers helps to ensure a higher caliber of care for  patients.  I feel so strongly about this that I joined a student council that promotes camaraderie between the different schools of medicine on our university campus, through social and community service events.

Other things I do
*Scholarship Foundation Advisory Board:
These people helped make my college education possible, so I am doing what I can, along with the help of my tech-savvy boyfriend, to help make the foundation stay current, innovative, and sustainable.
*Vagina Monologues
I was starving for a creative outlet and more strong community with women, so I auditioned for Eve Ensler’s play based on the stories of women around the world.  I was blessed with a tiny part, which has removed the stress of adding further memorization to my routine as a medical student, and allowed me to focus on the more awesome part of getting to know an amazing group of women and collaborate on vital activist projects to combat violence against women.
*Unitarian Universalism
I discovered UU in my college years and it’s the best home I’ve found spiritually, which has allowed me the freedom to explore my faith without guilt but instead with a healthy curiosity.  While I don’t attend services as often as I’d like, it’s an important base for me to navigate my spiritual compass as I mosey forward on that journey in my life.
*NIA
I hadn’t experienced such a personally affirming and holistic approach to physical health and energy since I had been a yoga student at Gilda’s Club in the wake of my bereavement for my mother.  NIA is an integrative exercise modality that draws from the martial arts, dance, and healing arts.  I always leave NIA class with a feeling of revitalization and a renewed attitude to confront life’s challenges.  Amazing!
*I am grateful to be doing more reading and writing these days – good for reflection, expression, and creativity.
*I’m doing my darnedest to maintain alive relationships with my five siblings and their beautiful children.
*I am living with the love of my life, who is thankfully quite accommodating my self-induced chaotic lifestyle, but definitely lets me know when I’m pushing the limit and need to reset my balance beam.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, I tend to frame myself in terms of what I do – but that’s because I consider myself an activist in many spheres, and I find great value in the doing.  Still, I know that that is only one aspect of my identity, and as this blog progresses, I will explore more about my values, my goals, and my inner self as it influences my life as a healer-in-training.

2
comments

Posted in Uncategorized

May 16

philosophy of service

it has taken me so long to get this blog going because of my perfectionist nature.  instead of getting something out there, i let myself be guarded by inhibitions.  it doesn’t have to be perfect – it just needs to be real.  straightforward, thoughtful, honest.

so here is my point of musing for the day – what draws people to engage in service? and, more importantly, what are the implications of a service relationship?

how much is one’s service selfless and altruistic, and how much of it is completely driven by one’s own selfish need to feel good about oneself?

kant always claimed that we are inherently selfish, that nothing we do is purely for the good of another person, without it at least to some degree having some positive impact on our own lives.  if we do it because it makes us feel good, it’s still selfish, even if it is unpaid, often thankless, hard work.

but still, who cares?  maybe it is selfish that we do it.  does it matter, if the end product is that someone is better off than he/she might have been without this service?

i think what can often prove to be more problematic is the way in which we view our relationships with the individuals and communities we serve.  is there a power differential?  i’d posit that there most definitely can be, and that’s where the issue lies.  is the volunteer viewing him/herself as somehow inherently better, because he/she possesses skills or resources that the individual or community being served lacks in some way?  or, in fewer words, is there a divide between the “have’s” versus the “have-not’s”?  or are we cognizant of the threat of a power differential and thus do our best to make it a mutually beneficial relationship?  for example, the person in need benefits from a particular service or resource, while the volunteer gains valuable insight on the struggles faced by the person or community in need.

the best example i have of this is when i served as a community mobilizer in mexico.  intellectually, i was able to understand the indigenous community as an intimate group of individuals, working hard to ensure that their basic needs were met, despite a lack of resources and education.  surely, my group of volunteers had skills and materials to make things happen that otherwise would have been lacking.  one instance of this was our initiative to work with local families to create stoves that were environmentally friendly and better for respiratory health.  we, as volunteers, had the resources and knowledge to create new realities for this community, but still, the community members laughed because i couldn’t wield a simple tool they used for building.  “stick to books”, they joked – but it was actually an incredibly refreshing moment because it highlighted that i, as a service provider, don’t have all the skills and knowledge.  while i might have been able to bring the community together for innovative projects, and teach english, and connect with the children, there were things they could teach me, like how to make tortillas, or use a huingaro (the tool that mystified me), or even keep my spirits up despite the long days of hard physical labor.  and that was the beauty of our service relationship – the give and take – no one was better than another.  it was simply a mutual exchange of talents, energies, and insights that led to community action.

i have known many community activists to carry what i like to call the guilt of privilege.  we are often unaware of the privilege we carry with us – whether it is having an affluent background, or attaining higher education, or even having white skin – until we work with those who lack those things.  then we become painfully aware of all that we have.  and with that awareness often comes a great deal of guilt.  we ask ourselves, why did i deserve to have these things, while others are suffering because they lack these same things?  over the years, i have learned to shed that guilt and instead work with something much more constructive – empowerment.

what does empowerment mean?  i view it as an uplifting of spirit. it is not something that can be accomplished alone – you will find no proponent of the simple “bootstraps” philosophy writing this blog.  nor is it a simple act of service in which someone does something for someone else, and the recipient of the service benefits.  it is more complex than that.  the recipient perhaps has a goal in mind of what needs to be accomplished, but is in need of something from the service provider – be it resources, knowledge, or support – to achieve that goal.  the service provider helps bridge the gap between the recipient’s current state of need and a future state of fulfillment.  the provider does not simply do something for the recipient.  the recipient is provided with a missing piece of the puzzle, and then completes the project through his/her own devices.  i find this to be the ideal way to engage in any service relationship, and something that i hope to model my future practice after as a physician.  i wish to work with patients at a level and pace that is comfortable for them, having honest conversations about how we can work together as partners to keep their health and well-being on track.  this has been the most effective way for me to enact change in the past, and i envision it as an invaluable tool for ensuring positive health outcomes in the future.

it is this mutuality, this give and take, this partnership, that i strive for in all my service relationships, and i encourage you to explore this if this is a new concept to you.

0
comments

Posted in Musings, Uncategorized

May 16

scanning the past to understand the future

i am a first-year medical student, with a checkered past for my 25 years, and a windy road that led me to my current career path.

i went to college expecting to follow the traditional pre-med path as a bio major, finishing all requirements in 3 years and entering medical school immediately upon graduation.  however, i was fortunate to go to a liberal arts university that encouraged the pursuit of knowledge and a curiosity in interdisciplinary studies.  soon i realized i was quite good at other things, like writing, critical analysis, social sciences.  after dabbling in a number of courses that seemed to catch my eye – from women’s studies, to sexuality courses, civilization studies, foreign language, and much more – i decided to pursue a degree in sociology, the ultimate interdisciplinary subject that gave me room to explore a number of subjects but still carve out a more special path within this wide swatch of academia.  i realized that many of the courses i was choosing had a cultural bent, especially in latino studies.  i ended up adding on a second concentration – latin american studies – as a complement but also a sort of specialization in my primary field of sociology.

i had the opportunity to both study and work abroad in mexico and the dominican republic, and conducted original research on reproductive choices and contraceptive methods to examine how women’s decisions about a very personal issue can become quite influenced by forces outside of themselves – cultural mores, partner dynamics, political stances on reproduction and fertility, and much more.  this research, along with my work as a sexual health educator and mentor for latina youth, helped me further define my interest in women’s health and empowerment.  i feel so grateful that i had these experiences because they made me so much more aware of my privilege.  i learned how i should not take it for granted, but also how i can use what i do have to empower others to have more control over their lives.

this translated into my work after graduation as a bilingual health educator, through the americorps program, in a medically underserved community.  every day, i worked intensively with patients who were downtrodden, frustrated, and facing many obstacles – both personal and societal – that stood in the way of achieving health and well-being.  nevertheless, these difficulties were an incredible teaching experience, both for me and my patients, as we partnered together to find solutions to seemingly insurmountable challenges.  we brainstormed ways to find fresh produce in a community where the only food available is taquerias and gas stations.  we discussed resources to pay for medications that keep diabetes and blood pressure under control.  we built upon patients’ strengths and assets to create manageable goals towards achieving weight loss.  it was tough work, but it was unbelievably satisfying to come into the clinic every day, knowing that i could make a real impact on helping patients’ pursue new directions towards a healthier life.  i also balanced this work with shadowing an osteopathic physician in a more affluent area.  during this time, i cultivated a great appreciation for prioritizing the patient-physician relationship with compassion, therapeutic touch, and that extra bit of time to truly connect with the patient and uncover other issues that may be lying beneath the surface.

this intensive work with patients revitalized my motivation to pursue a career in medicine.  i was fortunate to have these incredible hands-on experiences, but they needed to be complemented by a stronger academic performance to ensure my success in medical school.  i embarked on a graduate program in medical sciences, which gave me the extra scientific background i needed to enter health professions school with a strong foundation upon which to build my basic and clinical sciences education.  i also further explored the human services field as a hospice volunteer and geriatric social worker in a very poor urban community that highlighted for me the often overlooked aging population, in great need of services and quality health care.

and that brings me to the present – i entered medical school as a non-traditional student, meaning i didn’t begin my medical studies immediately after completing my undergraduate education, and i am so grateful for the experiences i had that led me to where i am today.  i am having an incredible time, doing what i love and always learning, exploring, growing.  another entry will be devoted to my current commitments outside of the classroom – why i chose these activities, and how i feel they are preparing me to be a better physician in the future.

hopefully this gives you a better idea of what led me to this path, and how this past will continue to influence my future decisions.  it’s been a fun ride so far, but the journey is really only beginning.


0
comments

Posted in Pre-clinical, Uncategorized